One Reason Your Baby or Toddler
May Not Be Sleeping Through the Night

by Bobbi Ann Johnson Holmes

           When bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital, most new parents expect a few sleepless nights. However, when an uninterrupted night's sleep becomes a distant memory, and it is no longer weeks, but months or years since you experienced one, a parent may grow angry, frustrated, and exhausted.
            Our firstborn, Robert, was nine-months-old when a girlfriend mentioned that her month-old daughter was regularly sleeping through the night. I was overcome with bitter envy, for it was a feat our son had yet to do.  Finally, at twelve months, he slept an entire night.  I was elated, believing we'd finally overcome that particular hurdle.  Unfortunately, it was the only complete night's sleep we would enjoy for the next four years. 

Doctors Ignored the Problem

            Three pediatricians insisted Robert's problem was not unusual, and that he would eventually grow out of it. He had no problem going to sleep.  In fact, at bedtime he never resisted, and drifted off to dreamland with relative ease.  Yet, within an hour after my husband and I went to bed, he would wake up. Sometimes those nocturnal activities would include diaper changes, or eventually trips to the bathroom. Often they would be repeated throughout the night, and would require a great deal of coaxing before sleep was again achieved.
            Sometimes Robert would behave erratically, flailing around restlessly, being cranky and irrational.  Had I not personally supervised his daily care, I would have suspected these nightmarish fits were the product of some daytime trauma
            As my husband and I desperately sought an uninterrupted night of sleep, we began trying every trick imaginable. As per advise from the experts, we briefly tried the tough love routine, where a parent checks for the obvious (such as wet diapers), and then walks away, allowing the baby to cry himself to sleep. It was agony for all concerned, and did absolutely no good. Someone suggested that Robert might be waking up, when we all went to bed, due to the absence of noise. My husband immediately purchased a small radio for the nursery.  Another article said warm milk before bedtime would do the trick, while another suggested no beverage. We rocked, walked, ignored, coddled, fed, gave beverages, and took them away.

Fatigued Parents Could Lead to Child Abuse

          The most frightening aspect of this type of problem is what sleep deprivation can eventually do to a parent's state of mind and judgment.  I recall one instance when my husband snapped, and began shouting at our wakeful two-year-old son.  It so terrified our child, it caused him to literally forget to breathe, and then he broke into a heartbreaking silent sob.   My husband was devastated by his own behavior, and we were always grateful that those years of sleepless nights didn't escalate into a more severe situation.
          By the time Robert was three, we moved to another community, and new doctors.  But two doctors later, and a son nearing kindergarten, still had not provided us with a complete night's rest.  I wonder about those doctors, who chose to discount our problem, ignoring what it could be doing to our family, and how even the best parents might slip into child abuse when sleep is not sufficient.
          But young parents were taught to trust doctors. And when five MDs tell you the same thing, over and over, you tend to accept their diagnosis. But I, a much older and wiser parent, will no longer do that.

The Answer to Our Problem

          When our son was in kindergarten, our small town lost its only doctor.  Filling in temporarily was a young nurse practitioner.  Our daughter, three years younger than her brother, came down with an ear infection, and so I took her to see this young woman.  In the course of the appointment, I began chatting with the nurse about the sleeping problem.
          She looked up at me, and immediately said, "It sounds like a classical food allergy."
          Food allergy? I was stunned.  Not only had no doctor ever mentioned such a possibility, I'd always considered myself rather savvy when it came to nutrition.  Processed food, fast food or junk food had never been part of our family's diet.  Not only had I breast fed, but my children had only been offered homemade baby food, and I tried to make healthy choices when planning family meals.
          She explained we would need to isolate certain food groups, to determine if he had a food allergy.  The first food group she wanted me to eliminate was dairy. When Robert came home from school that day, he was given no milk. Miraculously, from that evening on, he began sleeping through the night.
          We were fortunate that the first food group isolated was the culprit. I dreaded the possibility that it could be wheat, which would have meant a complete overhaul in our family's eating habits. But, it would have been nice had we discovered it four years sooner!
           Ironically, our son never cared for dairy products.  Often we had to coax him to finish his milk, after all, don't children need milk?  And while he enjoyed ice cream, as do most youngsters, he was never fond of cheese.  By his indifference to dairy products, his body was trying to tell us it couldn't handle them.  Unfortunately, we failed to listen.

The Milk Allergy

          Milk products did not just influence his sleep patterns, it caused serious behavioral problems.  Remember that secret potion that changed Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde?  For  Robert,  that would have been be a glass of milk. I recall one afternoon (before we were aware of the allergy) we awarded our 4-year-old son with an ice cream cone.  It was a rare treat, and one we soon regretted.  Within an hour he changed from a well-behaved boy into a hellion. The mood changes were drastic.  At the time I was a bewildered young mother, who muttered helplessly to her husband, "Why? Why is he acting this way?"  Had I only known, I was feeding Robert a behavioral modifying food!
            Other symptoms of a milk allergy might include cradle cap, stuffy nose or dark circles around the eyes.
          We attempted giving our son dietary supplements, to compensate for the calcium missing in his diet.  Unfortunately, the expensive vitamins prescribed were so unpleasant, that I often found them shoved under the couch.  We eventually began giving him Tums and using goat's milk.
          Robert is nearing his 22nd Birthday, and he seems to have long since outgrown his intolerance for milk. Yet, he still is not overly fond of dairy products.
          Over the years I've read a variety of parental guidance columns and articles, where the experts are doling out the same advise once given to my husband and I; "They will outgrow it; let them cry”, while ignoring one possibility. It saddens me to think that many families might be needlessly suffering with this problem - for weeks, months and even years.

Letter from a reader, in response to the above article:

          Oh my goodness! . . .  It worked like a charm.  I can't believe it.  I'm so grateful to you.    My son looks so much  healthier.  My husband and I are getting along better.  My neighbors keep telling me "how good I look".  Probably because they got used to seeing me with big bags under my eyes, my hair in a pony tail and my sweatshirt and jeans all the time.... in a nut shell; exhausted.   Some of my coworkers think I'm on "new medication" I'm sure because I'm cheery again.  : )
          I called my son's Pulmonologist/Allergist to discuss your article when I read it and he immediately dismissed it.  I finally worked it into our discussions gently after that and he is going to do some "official" food allergy tests on my son next week.  I think dairy may be his asthma trigger too and we have just been treating the symptoms of the asthma without removing the trigger.
          Like you, I had been through 3 Pediatricians, 1 Dermatologist (for the eczema) and one Pulmonologist/Allergist.  As you did, I' would mention the sleeplessness to every doctor, nurse practitioner and every parent that would listen for 4 years.  None knew about the connection.  I'm so discouraged with the medical field now.   I am trying to figure out how to get the word out to the medical community.  I suspect now that if the eczema had been connected to me introducing a milk based formula to my son's diet, that he may not have developed other allergies, including asthma.  But who knows?   I am trying to get passed my frustration with this, but if I can figure out how and where to change the process, to spare other families this, I would. . .
           Again, thank you, thank you, thank you!!
(name withheld)