Coping with Finicky Eaters

Is Mealtime a Power Play for Parents?

By Bobbi Holmes

       As a small child I disliked most foods. When I was about thirteen-months-old I ended up in the hospital, suffering from what is known as milk anemia.  Basically, I was filling up on milk, instead of eating a well balanced diet. To the outside world, I was a plump, healthy baby, but the paleness of my complexion and lips betrayed the true state of my health.
       When my parents brought me home from the hospital, their primary objective became coaxing me into eating nutritious food.  Although their situation was extreme, it is not an unusual dilemma. Parents are often concerned that their children might be filling up on junk food, instead of appropriate amounts of healthy foods.
      Does this mean we force our children to eat foods they hate? Imagine if someone set a plate of raw oysters in front of you (assuming you hate raw oysters) and demanded you clean your plate. If most adults find it repulsive to eat certain foods, why do some punish children for not eating foods the child may hate?
       Had my parents not allowed me to fill up on milk, I would have been hungry, and more likely to eat food.  If a parent curtails his or her child’s access to junk food (candy, cookies, etc.) then the hungry child is more likely to eat the healthy food that is available.
       There are some children (like I was) who would go hungry before eating anything they disliked.  To alleviate this problem, without cooking separate “kid meals”, there are a few tricks. For instance, keep healthy snacks around the house, so when your child puts something into his mouth, it is something that will actually provide vitamins and minerals. 

Feed Youngsters Clean Fresh Vegetables with Healthy Dips

       Most children dislike cooked vegetables. Ironically, cooking vegetables diminishes the vitamin contents, so I often wonder why some parents insist their children choke down a serving of cooked carrots, when the same child might happily munch on a raw carrot, pretending he or she is Bugs Bunny.
       Keep an assortment of clean, ready to eat vegetables in your refrigerator.  It is a healthy snack for parent and child. To coax them into eating the more exotic broccoli or cauliflower, try fixing some Ranch dressing, and allow them to “dip”.  Ranch dressing is by far the favorite child dressing. My generation used to dip French fries in ketchup; today many kids dip everything from French fries and chicken strips in the white dressing.
       Pumpkin pie for breakfast? I’ve read more than one nutritionist who insisted the popular Thanksgiving dessert provides a well-balanced meal.  While I never served it for breakfast, I was never concerned when my kids wanted to fill up on pumpkin pie instead of the candied yams, during that traditional meal.  After all, aren't they basically the same food, just packaged differently?
       My own daughter was a rather fussy eater.  I rarely kept cookies, chips or other *empty* stack foods in our pantry.  When she was hungry for a snack, I’d steer her towards a bowl of low sugar cereal. Some questioned my judgment in allowing her to have a bowl of cereal in the evening, several hours after she failed to eat much dinner.
       I did encourage my kids to try what was on their plate.  But, if after the first bite they discovered they disliked it, they did not have to eat it. To alleviate the *waste factor*, I placed minimal portions on their plates, with the understanding that they were always welcome to take seconds. I’m sure many parents would disagree with my food philosophy.  But, unlike some households I’ve witnessed, we never experienced a traumatic and tearful dinner hour.   Food was never made into a *power* issue.

Don't Turn Mealtime into a Family Drama

       Food simply: was. It has a primary purpose, to sustain us. Today I battle with my weight.  It is a hold over from my early childhood, when my parents, in their sincere attempt to keep me healthy after my bout with milk anemia, forced and cajoled me into eating.  Instead of making available to me, those nutritional foods that I already enjoyed, they felt compelled to force me to eat all foods. Each day my grandparents would congratulate me on whatever I ate.  My father made an issue at mealtime, sometimes bringing me to tears over our food consumption battles. 
       The fact is, our tastes do change as we mature.  We might sincerely hate cooked broccoli at age five, yet love it at twenty-five.  I don’t believe the change in taste took place because someone forced a five year old to finish her cooked vegetables.
       I suppose the big question is, why do we care what our kids eat?  Is it a power issue, where we want to show them we make the rules, and prove we can control every aspect of their life, including what they consume?  Or is it a health issue, where we want them to have a balanced diet?  Is it really that important for a preschooler to have a sophisticated palate, and eat creamed spinach without wincing? Or is it more important to have a pleasant mealtime, where that same child dips his or her way through the veggie tray, nibbling on an assortment of crisp raw vegetables?