You'll only need one computer!

Or, lies that computer salesmen tell.

By Bobbi A. J. Holmes

            I realized it was time to get a new laptop after I downloaded the trial version of Word 2007 and discovered that inserting a picture in a document caused my dated Inspiron 8100 to freeze hopelessly.  Of course, I should have figured I needed a replacement when the hinges holding the monitor to the body cracked, forcing me to leave the laptop open at all times, for fear it would fall completely apart should I try moving it around, which of course, rather defeats the purpose of having a “mobile” laptop.
           I’ve had the laptop for 6 years….or is it 7? Maybe it’s five.  It doesn’t matter, even five years is too old for computers.  Heck, my desktop at work is barely two years, and it’s already feeling the strain of old age, unable to keep pace with the current software.
            I tried counting the number of computers my husband and I have had since our first - nine, maybe more, over the span of 22 years.  One thing I know for certain, the computer salesman, who sold my husband our very first computer, had no conception of the future of computers.

Our College Computer Classes Involved Punch Cards

            That first desktop was purchased in 1985. I was involved in desktop publishing, and what my desktop lacked was a computer.  In those years there was a store called Computerland, one of the first major retail stores to market the PC.
            I had no knowledge of computers, other than a college class assignment in a course called Communications and Social Change, which introduced us to computers, by way of the punch card. I never did understand what they expected me to do with that punch card, and when I finally graduated from college in 1976 I still had no clue.  My next brush with a computer was at the water company where I worked for a brief time after college.  That bulky piece of hardware had its own room, and I would occasionally input data on a typewriter-like keyboard.

The Average Computer User Won't EVER Need a Hard Drive

            So, when we decided to try out one of those new-fangled IBM Clone thingies, my husband headed  down to Computerland. I didn’t go with him, as the purchase was intended to be my Christmas gift that year.
            My husband needed guidance in his purchase.  So naturally, he looked to the Computerland salesman for advice.  The salesman sold my husband a computer with no hard drive. Instead, it had slots for two 5” floppy discs.  One disc held the software, and the other held the data.  The salesman explained that hard drives were unnecessary for the average user.
            And then he went on to say what would prove to be the most untrue statement ever said about  computers - he told my husband that this computer (the one with no hard drive) would be all that we would ever need.  It would comfortably take us into the future.
            Of course, we had to upgrade within two years, something that really hasn’t changed in the computer world.
            Since that first outdated PC, my husband (who resisted using a computer until he became a licensed real estate agent in 2002) resented the hardware carcasses gathering in our garage.  Should I even mention the possibility that I might be looking to update, he begins a familiar tirade, counting down the number of computers, monitors, scanners and printers that have landed in our hardware graveyard.  I also believe he remembers that long ago false promise made by the Computerland salesman, which only contributes to his annoyance. 
            This of course explains why my home computer is a seasoned Dell laptop, with rickety hinges, a flickering monitor, sticking keys and short-term memory loss.