Essays & Articles
Coping with finicky eaters
By Bobbi Holmes
As a small child I disliked most foods. When I was about thirteen-months-old
I ended up in the hospital, suffering from what is known as milk anemia.
Basically, I was filling up on milk, instead of eating a well balanced diet.
To the outside world I was a plump, healthy baby, but the paleness of my
complexion and lips betrayed the true state of my health.
When my parents brought me home from the
hospital, their primary objective became coaxing me into eating nutritious
food. Although their situation was extreme, it is not an unusual
dilemma. Parents are often concerned that their children might be filling up
on junk food, instead of appropriate amounts of healthy foods.
But does this mean we force our children to eat
foods they hate? Imagine if someone sat a plate of raw oysters in front of
you (assuming you hate raw oysters) and demanded you clean your plate? If
most adults find it repulsive to eat certain foods, why do some punish
children for not eating foods the child may hate?
Had my parents not allowed me to fill up on
milk, I would have been hungry, and more likely to eat a more balanced diet.
In the same token, if a parent curtails his or her child’s access to junk
food (candy, cookies, etc.) then the hungry child is more likely to eat the
healthy food that is available.
There are some children (like I was) who
would go hungry before eating anything they disliked. To alleviate
this problem, without cooking separate “kid meals”, there are a few tricks
parents might try. For instance, keep healthy snacks around the house, so
when your child puts something into his mouth, it is something that will
actually provide vitamins and minerals.
Most children dislike cooked vegetables.
Ironically, cooking vegetables diminishes the vitamin contents, so I often
wonder why some parents insist their children choke down a serving of cooked
carrots, when the same child might happily munch on a raw carrot, pretending
he or she is Bugs Bunny.
Keep an assortment of clean, ready to eat
vegetables in your refrigerator. It is a healthy snack for parent and
child. To coax them into eating the more exotic broccoli or cauliflower, try
fixing some Ranch dressing, and allow them to “dip”. Ranch dressing is
by far the favorite child dressing. My generation used to dip French fries
in ketchup; today many kids dip everything from French fries and chicken
strips in the white dressing.
Pumpkin pie for breakfast? I’ve read more
than one nutritionist who insisted the popular Thanksgiving desert provides
a well balanced meal. And while I never served it for breakfast, I was
never concerned when my kids wanted to fill up on pumpkin pie instead of the
candied yams, during that traditional meal. After all, aren't they
basically the same food, just packaged differently?
My own daughter was a rather fussy eater.
I rarely kept cookies, chips or other *empty* stack foods in our pantry.
When she was hungry for a snack, I’d often steer her towards a bowl of low
sugar cereal. Some questioned my judgment in allowing her to have a bowl of
cereal in the evening, several hours after she failed to eat much dinner.
I did encourage my kids to try what was on
their plate. But, if after the first bite they discovered they
disliked it, they did not have to eat it. To alleviate the *waste factor*, I
placed minimal portions on their plates, with the understanding that they
were always welcome to take seconds. I’m sure many parents would disagree
with my food philosophy. But, unlike some households I’ve witnessed,
we never experienced a traumatic and tearful dinner hour. Food
was never made into a *power* issue.
Food simply, was. It has a primary purpose,
to sustain us.
Today I battle with my weight. It is
a hold over from my early childhood, when my parents, in their sincere
attempt to keep me healthy after my bout with milk anemia, forced and
cajoled me into eating. Instead of making available to me, those
nutritional foods that I already enjoyed, they felt compelled to force me to
eat all foods. Each day my grandparents would congratulate me on whatever I
ate. My father made an issue at meal time, sometimes bringing me to
tears over our food consumption battles.
But the fact is, our tastes do change as we
mature. We might sincerely hate cooked broccoli at age five, yet love
it at twenty-five. And I don’t believe the change in taste took place
because someone forced a five year old to finish their cooked vegetables.
I suppose the big question is, why do we
care what our kids eat? Is it a power issue, where we want to show
them who makes the rules, and prove we can control every aspect of their
life, including what they consume? Or is it a health issue, where we
want them to have a balanced diet? Is it really that important for a
preschooler to have a sophisticated palate, and eat creamed spinach without
wincing? Or is it more important to have a pleasant mealtime, where that
same child dips his or her way through the veggie tray, nibbling on an
assortment of crisp raw vegetables?